Relationships
Navigating different types of relationships is a normal yet often tricky part of life. Healthy relationships, whether they are romantic or friendly- bring you comfort and happiness. You look forward to seeing the person and you have fun during your time together. You may have arguments, but you spend more time feeling happy with them rather than feeling down or angry. You feel that the person respects your boundaries, and that you are both equally worthy people. It means being around that person makes your life easier, not more difficult.
Do you have a relationship with someone that you feel is uneven? Do you feel like you give more than you receive? Does the person make you feel unworthy, or that you somehow have to work hard for their approval? If you feel like you are often sacrificing things like time, money, or who you are for someone else, it may be time to explore in therapy if this relationship is serving you.
Should I keep this relationship going, or end it?
As a therapist, I would be modeling unhealthy boundaries by telling you whether you should stay in this relationship or leave it. This is your life and your decision to make. The goal of therapy in this scenario is for you to get to know yourself better and to explore the dynamics of this relationship in more detail. In our work together, I will ask you deeper questions about your feelings and values so that you can decide for yourself what the best choice would be. At the end of the day, only you know what works for you.
Do you work with couples?
Absolutely. I work with monogamous as well as polyamorous couples, straight, LGBTQ, and gender fluid couples. If you are experiencing problems in your relationship, couples therapy can help you navigate and resolve them together. Common issues that arise are trouble communicating, different belief systems, and conflicting priorities. These issues usually stem from the type of family culture we were raised in as well as our past experiences. Conflict often arises when there is a change in roles, such as becoming new parents or a change in employment status. If there has been infidelity, our work will likely focus on why this happened and ways to rebuild trust. Together, we will work on creating improved communication patterns and healthier ways to manage conflict.
*Please note, I do not work with couples where there is active domestic violence (DV). I do however work with individuals who are experiencing active DV.
I’ve always been single. Is something wrong with me?
I have lost count of the number of clients I’ve had who’ve asked me this. The short answer is no, there is nothing inherently wrong with you if you have never been “coupled”. It could simply mean that desire and opportunity have yet to coincide. This is not to say that being single is always easy, especially when so much of the media focuses on relationships and couples. It can be especially isolating if many of your friends are in relationships and you feel like the third wheel. If you like being single, keep on shining. If you want to be in a relationship, we can explore how to navigate the dating world, including how to pick up on people’s cues and what to talk about on a date.
